Sunday, August 8, 2010

RETIREMENT SPEECH OF A PRIEST

A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited:

'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and sold his sister's jewelery to buy a gun. I was appalled.

But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'....

Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:

'I'll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.'


Moral : Never,Ever, Never Be Late....

Monday, May 17, 2010

SOLVE THIS PUZZLE

See If You can Solve These Bashers*

*1) **Alex, Bret, Chris, Derek, Eddie, Fred, Greg, Harold, and John are nine students who live in a three storey building, with three rooms on each floor. A room in the West wing, one in the centre, and one in the East wing. If you look directly at the building, the left side is West and the right side is East. Each student is assigned exactly one room. Can you find where each of their rooms is: *

   *1. **Harold does not live on the bottom floor.*

   *2. **Fred lives directly above John and directly next to Bret (who lives in the West wing).*

   *3. **Eddie lives in the East wing and one floor higher than Fred.*

   *4. **Derek lives directly above Fred.*

   *5. **Greg lives directly above Chris.*



*2) **What does this equation simplify to? *

(x - a) * (x - b) * (x - c) * ... * (x - z) =?

*3) **Starting in the bottom left corner and moving either up or right,
adding up the numbers along the way, what is the largest sum which can be made? *

*4) **How many squares, of any size, can you find on this chess board
which do not contain a Rook? *

*5) **What four digit number has digit 1 three less than digit 4 which is
one more than digit 2 which is twice digit 3 which is not a prime number and is one more than 1/3 of digit 4?*


*Here are the Solution’s…*

1. *Answer:*

*West*

*Centre*

*East*

*Harold*

*Derek*

*Eddie*

*Bret*

*Fred*

*Greg*

*Alex*

*John*

*Chris*


2. *Answer:** **“0” since one of the terms is (x - x).***

3. *Answer:* *3+2+5+9+6+1+ 7+4+1 = 38*

4. *Answer:** **There are 128 Squares without the Rook***

5. *Answer: **6849.*

I WANT TO BECOME PRIME MINISTER

I asked my friend's little daughter what she wanted to be when she grows up.

She said she wanted to be Prime Minister some day.

Both her parents, Labour supporters, were standing there, so I asked her,"If you were Prime Minister what would be the first thing you would do?"
She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all those poor people on benefits." Her parents beamed, and said, "Welcome to the Labour Party!"

"That's a worthy goal!" I told her, and continued, "But you don't have to wait until you're Prime Minister to do that. You can come over to my house,mow the lawn, pull weeds, sweep my drive and I'll pay you Rs. 25. Then I'll take you over to that homeless chap who hangs out in front of the store. You can give him the Rs. 25 to use toward food."

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless man come over and do the work himself and you can just pay him the Rs. 25?"

I smiled and said, "Welcome to the Conservative Party."

Sunday, April 4, 2010

A WOMEN REPLYING TO FLIRTS

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator. "

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you...to leave."

Man: "Hey Cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"

BEST PICK UP LINES FOR DATING

on seeing a beautiful Girl:::::

• Am I dead? Because this must be heaven!

• You have more curves than a race track.

• Do you know karate? Because your body’s really kickin’.

• I hope you know CPR because you take my breath away!

• Is your name Summer? Because you’re as hot as hell.

• If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

• You’re a 9.999. Well, you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.

• Please help the homeless. Take me home with you.

• Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

• When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.

• You know, the power company is looking for you because you're so electrifying.

• You know, I’m not this tall. I'm just sitting on my wallet.

• Of course, there's lots of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd love to catch.

• Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

• How was heaven when you left it?

• You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

• I think I can die happy now because I’ve just seen a piece of heaven.

Friday, March 5, 2010

KARTHIK CALLING KARTHIK MOVIE REVIEW

Karthik Calling Karthik Movie Review

Directed
Vijay Lalwani

Produced By
Farhan Akhtar

Written
Vijay Lalwani

Star Cast
Farhan Akhtar - Karthik
Deepika Padukone - Shonali
Ram Kapoor - Mr. Kamath
Shefali Chhaya - Mrs. Kapadia
Vivan Bhatena

I think most of us have seen the movie and I would like to say that it is a very good movie.
Farhan Akhtar is a really good actor and so Deepika...

Please write your reviews.








Monday, February 8, 2010

Let see if you have an IQ above 120?

A quick brain tickler…
Please look at the math below:
They say only people with an IQ with 120 and over are able to figure
this out.

If:
2 + 3 = 10
7 + 2 = 63
6 + 5 = 66
8 + 4 = 96

Then:

9 + 7 =????

The number you find out is the password to open the attachment. Open and
enter your name...Then, pass on.

Let see if you have an IQ above 120?








Sunday, February 7, 2010

BEST PART OF 3 IDIOTS

I have seen the movie 3 IDIOTS more than 6 times now and I can't resist to watch it again yet.

3 IDIOTS Movie Review:
I loved the movie completely and must say that our filmmakers should work on more scripts like this. We are living in a society which has many issues that are needed to be presented in a proper way.

BEST PART:
When Raju gets the job and Farhan's father allows him to be a wild life Photographer and they both give Salaam to Rancho/ Ranchoddas Chanchad/ Wangdu.

[What they did in Munna Bhai (both films) was amazing.
In first they emphasized on how we actually lag to treat very small and important aspects crucially in life. In second they presented beautifully how important principles we got from Gandhiji.]

These are my personal opinions and would like to know your take on this.
So, PLEASE WRITE YOUR REVIEW AND TELL US THE BEST PART OF 3 IDIOTS...
Dont forget to write your name and email Id while you comment...





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Monday, June 22, 2009

YOUR SEXUAL IDENTITY

According to studies, the first letter of your first name reveals your sexual identity ...


-A-
You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up front person. When it comes to sex, it's action that counts not obscure hints. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important to you. You find the chase and challenge of the "hunt" invigorating. You are passionate and sexual as well as being much more adventurous than you appear; however, you do not go around advertising these qualities. Your physical needs are your primary concern.




-B-
You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your expression of endearments and particularly when it comes to lovemaking. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite and abstain from sex if need be. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.




-C-
You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You must be able to talk to your sex partner before, during, and after. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sexual and sensual, needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to go for long periods without sexual activity. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.




-D-
Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full steam ahead in pursuit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly sexual, passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement, sometimes possessive and jealous. Sex to you is a pleasure to be enjoyed. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open.




-E-
Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion for a bedmate. You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important than the sexual act for you, but once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. When you don't have a good lover to fall asleep with, you will fall asleep with a good book. (Sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good look.)




-F-
You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal.. You are sensuous, sexual,and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are born romantic. Dramatic lve scenes are your favorite fantasy pastime. You can be a very generous lover.




-G-
You are crap in bed!
( Remember.... .I didn't write this!!!! LOLOL)




-H-
You seek a mate who can enhance your reputation and earning ability. You will be very generous to your lover once you have attained a commitment. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be frugal in your spending and dating habits and equally cautious in your sexual involvement. You are a sensual and patient lover.




-I-
You have a great need to be loved, appreciated. .. Even worshipped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of sexual expression.. You bore easily and thus require sexual adventure and change. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.




-J-
You are totally simply marvelous!




-K-
You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated.




-L-
You are very romantic, idealistic, and somehow you believe that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate or attracting people who have unusual troubles. You see yourself as your lover's savior. You are sincere, passionate, lustful, and dreamy. You can't help falling in love. You really enjoy stimulating yourself, though you are fairly new to it. You fantasize and get turned on by movies and magazines. You neither tell others of this secret life nor of your sexual fantasies.




-M-
You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of sexual energy is inexhaustible. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and also enjoy mothering your mate.




-N-
You need constant stimulation because you bore quickly. You can handle more than one relationship at a time with ease. You believe in total sexual freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of sexual energy is inexhaustible. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous, sexual, and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are your favorite fantasy pastime. You can be a very generous lover.




-O-
You are very interested in sexual activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your sexual energy into making money and/or seeking power. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate, sexual lover, requiring the same qualities from your mate. Sex is serious business; thus you demand intensity and diversity, and are willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.




-P-
You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of doing anything that might harm your image or reputation. Appearances count, therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy; A good fight stimulates those sex vibes. You are relatively free of sexual hang-ups. You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.




-Q-
You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you, sexually or otherwise. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people of other ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and lots of conversation to turn you on and keep you going.




-R-
You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is very important to you. You have to be proud of your partner. You are privately very sexy, but you do not brag, you are willing to serve as teacher. Sex is important; you can be a very demanding playmate.




-S-
You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along.




-T-
You are very sensitive, private, and sexually passive; you like a partner who takes the lead. Music, soft lights and romantic thoughts turn you on. You fantasize, but do not tend to fall in and out of love easily. When in love, you are romantic, idealistic, mushy, and extremely intense. You enjoy having your senses and your feelings stimulated, titillated, and teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, oftentimes all in your own head.




-U-
You are enthusiastic and idealistic when in love. When not in love, you are in love with love, always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as a challenge. You are a roamer and need adventure, excitement, and freedom. You deal in potential relationships. You enjoy giving gifts and enjoy seeing your mate looking good. Your sex drive is strong and you desire instant ratification. You are willing to put your partner's pleasures above your own.




-V-
You are individualistic, and you need freedom, space, and excitement. You wait until you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching him out. You feel a need to get into his head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. Often there is an age difference between you and your lover. You respond to danger, thrills, and suspense.




-W-
You are very proud, determined, and you refuse to take no for an answer when pursuing love. Your ego is at stake. You are romantic, idealistic, and often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner as he or she really is. You feel deeply and throw all of yourself into your relationships. Nothing is too good for your lover. You enjoy playing love games.




-X-
You need constant stimulation because you bore quickly. You can handle more than one relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your mind. You talk while you make love. You can have the greatest love affairs, all by yourself, in your own head.




-Y-
You are sexual, sensual, and very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will forgot the whole thing. You want to control your relationships, which doesn't always work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation, enjoy necking and spending hours just touching, feeling and exploring. However, if you can spend your time making money, you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You need to prove to yourself and your partner what a great lover you are. You want feedback on your performance. You are an pen, stimulating, romantic




Tuesday, June 16, 2009

DIFFERENT WAYS TO PROPOSE A GIRL




1. Walk up behind girl and point fingers shaped like gun into her back
“You’re under arrest!”
For what?
“For stealing my heart.”

2. Hi, my name is Chance, Do I have one?

3. are your legs tired?
girl: Why?
because you have been running through my mind all day!

4. “I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?”

5. Can you give me directions to your heart? I’ve seemed to have lost myself in your eyes

6. Take a look at the tag on the girls shirt, jacket, etc.
She would say,”What are doing”
resond,”Oh, just checking to see if you were made in Heaven.”

7. Pick up a flower and walk over to girl.
“I was just showing this flower how beautiful you are.”

8. Is it hot in here or is it just you?

9.Walk up to a guy and say: “Are you from Greece?”
“No” he answers.
“Oh, I thought all the gods were from Greece”

10. GEE I FEEL LIKE RICHARD GERE STANDING BESIDE YOU ……….. PRETTY WOMEN

11. I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.
Reply : I don't mind where you die.. as long as you do!

12. Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.
Reply : So, how many times did you fail kinder garten?

13. Are your legs tired? 'cause you been running through my mind ALL day long.
Reply : Yes, they are. I've been running away from you!

14. Are you lost? 'cause it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.
Reply : How many times have you been to heaven, anyway?

15. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?
Reply : Yeah.. why don't you walk by and just keep walking!

16. What's that in your eye? Oh...it's a sparkle.
Reply : What are you on? Crack or cocaine?

17. Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.
Reply : (too corny.. maybe a disgusted look would enough)

18. You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.
Reply : You can be sure of going to hell.. your stupidity will assure you of a place!

19. If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
Reply : So, that's your problem.. simple algebra!
Enjoy the day.....

100 WAYS TO BE ANNOYING

  1. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, andinsist to others that you "like it that way".
  2. Drum on every available surface.
  3. Remove every line of someone's .newsrc file except the entry foralt.sex.fetish.hamster.duct-tape.
  4. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
  5. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
  6. Ask 800 operators for dates.
  7. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire copy warningsand Simon Bates "Whenever you rent or buy a video..." bits
  8. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
  9. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
  10. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
  11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
  12. Set alarms for random times.
  13. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in publicconsisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
  14. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
  15. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
  16. Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, withthe volume properly adjusted.
  17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
  18. Honk and wave to strangers.
  19. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
  20. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
  21. Tape pieces of "The Grumbleweeds" over climactic parts ofrental movies.
  22. Wear your trousers backwards.
  23. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat theircomplementary mints by the cash register.
  24. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
  25. Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Mike Oldfield's"Tubular Bells one or two....or both".
  26. Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-Cyrillic-landscapemode. (Please note: Dot Matrix printers only.)
  27. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
  28. only type in lowercase.
  29. dont use any punctuation either
  30. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute wholestreets.
  31. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
  32. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
  33. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
  34. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
  35. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
  36. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?""What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
  37. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
  38. Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
  39. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
  40. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
  41. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
  42. At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
  43. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" untilphysically restrained.
  44. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
  45. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
  46. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
  47. Finish the 99 green bottles song.
  48. Sing the "This is the song that never ends..." song.
  49. Leave your indicator on for fifty miles.
  50. Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
  51. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of yourchin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
  52. Drive fifty yards.
  53. Name your dog "Dog".
  54. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
  55. Ask people what gender they are.
  56. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
  57. Lick the filling out of all the jammy Dodgers, and place the biscuit partsback in the tray.
  58. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.
  59. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a"good one".
  60. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious thatyou don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
  61. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touchwith a can of Glade Air Freshener.
  62. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains.
  63. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
  64. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
  65. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
  66. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
  67. Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of beingfirst in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
  68. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see ifthey slow down.
  69. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
  70. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if peopleplay along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
  71. Wear a LOT of cologne.
  72. Ask to "interface" with someone.
  73. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed isnecessary because of your "superior mental processing".
  74. Sing along at the opera.
  75. Mow your lawn with scissors.
  76. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"
  77. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".
  78. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
  79. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
  80. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble theiranswers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychologicalprofiles".
  81. Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn'tcricket." Hmmm Geoff Boycott?
  82. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture".
  83. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
  84. Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
  85. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producingawkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying moreany moment.
  86. Never make eye contact.
  87. Never break eye contact.
  88. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over yourears.
  89. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
  90. Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
  91. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in an annoying John Motson or Jimmy Hill voice.
  92. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
  93. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
  94. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
  95. Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.
  96. Push the buttons at intersections that turn the lights red, but instead of walking across, point and laugh at the drivers that had to stop.
  97. Mr. Nelson's personal favorite: Tell your band director you want to play drums.
  98. Go into chat rooms and flood the screen.
  99. when with your friends, turn the radio on the a station that you KNOW that they hate and make a great show of enjoying it.
  100. Give dead flowers to everyone and claim that they were alive a minute ago.



GOOD TIPS FOR HEALTH AND LIFE...

  • Make a little loving gesture every day for one full year.
  • Cuddle on the sofa and watch a movie.
  • Take a bubble bath together.
  • Walk on the beach in the moonlight.
  • Put a note in a romance novel saying, "The story is great but our own love story is the best".
  • Put a single red rose on the seat of your lover's car before they go to work.
  • Send your lover a virtual postcard at least once a week.
  • Get every book ever written by your loved one's favorite author.
  • Get every movie starring your lovers favorite actor.
  • Keep twenty pounds of your lovers favorite candy on hand.
  • Take her to see the movie Titanic fifteen times.
  • Make love to him/her every night until he/she asks you to stop.
  • Give him/her twelve dozen roses on all their special days.
  • Compose a list: "101 Reasons Why You're the Greatest" Write each reason on a separate square of paper. Wrap them in a fancy gift box.
  • Sprinkle perfume on to light bulb. When light is turned on the scent of the perfume will fill the room.
  • Relax with a glass of white wine.
  • Listen to a romantic audio tape, fix a cup of hot flavored tea, and light two candles.
  • Keep a journal of your romantic fantasies. Share it with your soul mate.
  • Buy a bunch of fish at a pet store. It doesn't matter what kind. Leave it for your lover with a note saying " Out of all the fish in the sea, you are the one for me".
  • Take a picture of yourself in the most sexy outfit possible. Hide in a secret spot in your house and leave him or her clues on how to get there. Watch the sparks fly!
  • Put a blindfold on your lover and drive them to a place where you have a blanket, candles, strawberries, sparkling drinks, and a rose. Park the car and take off the blindfold while you read a poem you have written for them.
  • While your lover is in the shower, or bath, put their bath towel in a hot dryer for a few minutes. Greet them when they get out of the shower with the toasty towel.
  • Pull the bag out of your lovers breakfast cereal box and slit a small hole in it. Insert a love note. Tape up the bag and return it to the box. What a way to start the day!
  • Write a list of 50 or more things you like or love about your sweetheart.
  • Unplug the TV set. Put a note on the screen saying, "Turn Me on Instead".
  • Play "hide-and-seek" in the rain. It's fun and VERY sensual!
  • Build your lover a web page telling them why you love them so much. Mention special moments and add some images and cool links to topics that interest them. Surf the web with them one day and just "stumble upon it". Or have someone send them an anonymous email with the link inviting them to the page.
  • Fill bathtub with warm water sprinkled with rose petals.
  • Fix a hot cup of Raspberry Chocolate, cuddle in a warm afghan and watch An Affair to Remember.
  • Place a perfumed handkerchief in the dryer with your sheets before drying.
  • Send your love a letter with confetti hearts inside of the letter so they pour out everywhere when your sweetheart opens it.
  • Invite your sweetie to an intimate dinner at your place. Make a pizza and with the pepperoni you can write something sweet, like "you are the one for me".
  • Surprise your lover with a kiss before they can finish a sentence.
  • Write your own love poems then record them on a tape and give them to your sweetheart.
  • Give your love an antique compass and say "You will never lose me". Your love will swear the needle always points to their heart!
  • While your love takes a shower, write the words "I love you" in the condensation of the bathroom mirror.
  • Leave a trail of "Hershey's chocolate kisses" from the front door to the bedroom, right up to the bed. On the bed leave a note that reads 'I kiss the ground you walk on.' Make sure you're not home when s/he gets in!
  • Write a love note or poem on a piece of paper and then cut it up into puzzle-like pieces. Send one a day to your special someone.
  • Play the game of monopoly with a few new rules. Change boardwalk into backrub, and Tennessee into take your shirt off. Every time you pass go, you get a kiss. etc.
  • Look straight into the eyes of your love and PAY ATTENTION to what they tell you! Tell your mate something about you that no one else knows.
  • Look into the eyes of your special someone often. "The eyes are the window to the soul". Weave love, sex, intimacy, passion and romance into the fabric of your daily lives.
  • Carve "His" and "Hers" jack-o-lanterns at Halloween.
  • Buy a set of matching silk pajamas, and take turns modeling them for each other.
  • Go through revolving doors with your lover.
  • Camp-out in a tent with your lover and picnic in a tree house
  • Men: Talk more. Women: Touch more.
  • Spend one solid hour exploring various kissing techniques.
  • Turn your "bedroom" into a "boudoir". Use soft colors and fabrics, fresh cut flowers on your nightstand, mirrors everywhere, etc. Hang your lovers Favorite art on your walls.



  • Thursday, February 12, 2009

    PROBLEMS WITH GIRLS

    The problems with GIRLS:

    If u TREAT her nicely, she says u are IN LOVE with her;
    If u Don't, she says u are PROUD.

    If u DRESS Nicely, she says u are trying to LURE her;
    If u Don't, she says u are from ………..

    If u ARGUE with her, she says u are STUBBORN;
    If u keep QUIET,! she says u have no BRAINS.

    If u are SMARTER than her, she'll lose FACE;
    If she's Smarter than u, she is GREAT.

    If u don't Love her, she tries to POSSESS u;
    If u Love her, she will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)

    If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are TROUBLESOME;
    If u don't, she says that u don't TRUST her.

    If u SCOLD her, u are like a CHACHA to her;
    If she SCOLDS u, it is because she CARES for u.

    If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
    If she BREAKS hers, she is FORCED to do so.

    If u SMOKE, u are BAD BOY;
    If she SMOKES, she is a GENTLELADY.

    If u do WELL in your exams, she says it's LUCK;
    If she does WELL, it's BRAINS.

    If u HURT her, u are CRUEL;
    If she HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!

    & so hard to please!!!!!


    Words to remember for a while-
    Boys are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.
    The girls don't want to reach for the good ones because they're afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground, that aren't as good, but easy.
    So the apples at the top think that there is something wrong with them,
    when in reality, they are amazing.
    That is why we just have to be a little patient and the right girl, the one who takes a chance to find the good, right apple, will com e someday.



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    Monday, December 29, 2008

    GHAJINI: MOVIE REVIEW & RECOMMENDATION

    Idea is to offer you a chance to express your views and opinions about a movie.Another intention is to provide enough information about a bollywood movie released recently. Believe me reviews really help deciding which movies to watch.
    We can read reviews in every newspaper, all TV channels show you a special program on movie reviews. You can see all these reviews but what is the difference between those reviews and reviews you will see on this webpage ???
    The difference will be of the person who writes movie reviews. there are atleast 2 bollywood movies releasing every week and there are more than 50 sources to know the feedback on the movie.
    But, who gives that feedback??
    Is it a common men like you ??
    The answer is NO..
    Here I want to present you reviews written by some common people like us.
    For example I spend Rs.500 in watching Ghajini and I want to share my feedback or i want to write a review, I can do it here on this webpage.
    I would love to write what i liked or didnt like in the movie.
    People reading here will be benefited by my review.

    What is a Movie Review?
    It is only what you feel about a bollywood movie. Its not true that only experts from media and film industry can write bollywood movie reviews. Anyone who spends money to buy ticket for a movie can write or talk about the movie and hence can write movie reviews.
    But, how many places provide this opportunity ???
    I cant see many websites where we can write reviews in our own way.

    GHAJINI

    Starring:
    Aamir Khan
    Asin Thottumkal
    Jiah Khan
    Pradeep Rawat
    Riyaz Khan

    Directed by:
    A. R. Murugadoss

    Produced by:
    Tagore Madhu
    Madhu Mantena

    Music by:
    A. R. Rahman.

    Lyrics by:
    Prasoon Joshi.


    The film is a remake of a Tamil movie, Ghajini, which was also directed by Muragadoss.
    The film is inspired from critically acclaimed Hollywood psychological thriller Memento, directed by Christopher Nolan.
    Starring Aamir Khan and Asin Thottumkal as the lead pair with Jiah Khan, Pradeep Rawat and Riyaz Khan essaying supporting roles.
    The film is a romantic action thriller that explores the life of a once-rich businessman who suffers from anterograde amnesia following a violent encounter.
    With the aid of Polaroid images and permanent tattoos on his torso, the businessman single-handedly tries to avenge the murder of his vivacious model girlfriend, Kalpana, who was killed.

    Aamir Khan as Sanjay Singhania
    Asin Thottumkal as Kalpana
    Jiah Khan as Sunita
    Pradeep Rawat as Ghajini
    Riyaz Khan as Fawwa

    I know half of India has seen this movie, but there are many people like me who have not seen the movie. So guys please help me and people like me to decide whether we should watch the movie.

    MY REVIEW:

    ONE OF THE BEST FILM I HAVE SEEN IN SO MANY YEARS..
    ITS REALLY WORTH SPENDING Rs. 1000.
    HONESTLY, I GOT INTO THE MOVIE COMPLETELY AND COULD NOT SEE ANYWHERE ELSE EXCEPT THE SCREEN.
    MY SUGGESTION IS WATCH GHAJINI ONLY IN THEATRES.
    FINEST THING IS THE MOVIE IS PHYSIQUE OF Mr. AAMIR KHAN.
    WOW!!! IT SEEMS THAT HIS UPPAR ABDOMEN BODY IS MADE UP OF ROCKS.
    AAMIR HAS DONE IT REALLY WELL AND THIS IS GOING TO BE ONE OF THE BEST PERFORMANCE BY HIM.
    DIRECTION OF MR. A. R. Murugadoss IS SUPERB.
    ASIN LOOKS SO CUTE & BEAUTIFUL IN THE MOVIE.
    SHE HAS PERFORMED VERY WELL & PROVED WHY SHE IS IN THE MOVIE.
    ACTION IN MOVIE IS REALLY IMPRESSIVE.
    I LOVED THE FIGHT BETWEEN AAMIR AND INSPECTOR IN HIS HOUSE.
    COMPLETELY LIKE A MACHINE HITTING THE INSPECTOR.
    MUSIC OF Mr. A.R. REHMAN IS BEST FIT IN THE MOVIE.
    SONGS LIKE GUJARISH, BEHKA, KAISE MUJHE SHOW THE CLASS OF Mr. REHMAN.

    THERE ARE ONLY FEW MOVIES MADE IN BOLLYWOOD WITH SUCH PERFECTION.
    MUST WATCH MOVIE MADE IN BOLLYWOOD.
    THE STORY OF THIS MOVIE WAS KNOWN TO EVERYONE BEFORE IT'S RELEASE BUT SHOWING A STORY ON SCREEN IN SUCH A BEAUTIFUL MANNER IS FANTASTIC.
    There are two different stories.
    First is the Love Story of Sanjay and Priya. This story has everything; love, comedy, romance, feelings. The story shows how Sanjay meets Priya and how they fall in love with each other. The story ends with Priya being killed and Sanjay loosing his memory.
    Second story is all about REVENGE.
    Sanjay who can now remember things only for 15 minutes tries and takes revenge.
    The way Sanjay manages to recollects his past and his daily routine is fantastic.
    Real intelligence of a human being is reflected deeply.
    Second part ends with sanjay taking revenge.

    IN ONE LINE " GHAJINI IS THE BEST BOLLYWOOD MOVIE "



    PLEASE WRITE YOUR REVIEW AND SUGGESTIONS FOR THE MOVIE.
    PLEASE WRITE YOUR COMMENTS HERE AND I PROMISE TO PUBLISH ALL YOUR COMMENTS...

    Sunday, December 7, 2008

    Decision Making

    This is a small story which can explain why people always suggest to have a broad view towards any situation while making a decision.


    A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track.

    The train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange. You can make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?







    Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make.......... .........






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    Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess. Exactly, to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place?

    Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are. The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.

    The great critic Leo Velski Julian as well as Sourav who told the story said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens.. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe... If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.

    While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one.



    'Remember that what's right isn't always popular... and what's popular isn't always right...'

    Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils.

    Wednesday, September 17, 2008

    KEYS TO HAPPINESS & SUCCESS

    TRUST

    TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
    A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, 'Public Utilities Board.' There was silence. She repeated, 'PUB.' There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, 'Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is.'
    Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just 'hello' instead of 'PUB'.


    NO POINTING FINGERS

    A man asked his father-in-law, 'Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?'
    The father-in-law answered in a smile, 'Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you.'
    We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
    If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.


    CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

    A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested 'I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.' The SDU officer said, 'Your requirements, please.' 'Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.' The officer listened carefully and replied, 'I understand you need television.'
    There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up a ND discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.


    NO OVERPOWERING

    Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that 'It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character.'
    It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
    It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..



    RIGHT SPEECH

    There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that 'A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation..' Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
    A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, 'Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school.' On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, 'Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker.' She answered, 'You should appreciate that you married me. Other wise, he will be the millionaire and not you.'
    Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.


    PERSONAL PERCEPTION

    Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, 'Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey? 'Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, 'The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?' Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
    Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, 'How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman.'
    The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, 'Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you.' Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
    It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
    Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear...



    BE PATIENT

    This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.
    Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, 'Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck.' Then he asked, 'but when are my fingers going to grow back?' The father went home & committed suicide.
    Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
    People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

    'Good Life starts only when you stop wanting a better One'

    'Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away'

    After all, we only live once…

    LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY

    THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY

    Law of Mechanical Repair
    After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

    Law of Gravity
    Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

    Law of Probability
    The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    Law of Random Numbers
    If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

    Law of the Alibi
    If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

    Variation Law
    If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

    Law of the Bath
    When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

    Law of Close Encounters
    The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

    Law of the Result
    When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

    Law of Biomechanics
    The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    Law of the Theater
    At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

    The Starbucks Law
    As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

    Murphy's Law of Lockers
    If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    Law of Physical Surfaces
    The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

    Law of Logical Argument
    Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

    Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
    If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

    Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
    A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
    As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

    Doctors' Law
    If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

    THE LOYAL WIFE

    The Loyal Wife

    There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.


    Just before he died, he said to his wife, 'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to
    the after life with me.'
    And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.


    Well, he died . . .
    He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, 'Wait, just a minute!'


    She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket.
    Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.


    Her friend said, 'I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'
    The loyal wife replied 'Listen, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.'
    'You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him !!! ?'
    'I sure did' said the wife. 'I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it.'


    Moral of the story: Women are cleverer than Men .....

    YOUR COMMENTS PLEASE...


    Thursday, June 19, 2008

    A POEM WITH A GREAT LESSON


    I went to a party Mom,

    I remembered what you said.

    You told me not to drink, Mom,

    So I drank soda instead.

    I really felt proud inside, Mom,

    The way you said I would.

    I didn't drink and drive, Mom,

    Even though the others said I should.

    I know I did the right thing, Mom,

    I know you are always right.

    Now the party is finally ending, Mom,

    As everyone is driving out of sight.

    As I got into my car, Mom,

    I knew I'd get home in one piece.

    Because of the way you raised me,

    So responsible and sweet.

    I started to drive away, Mom,

    But as I pulled out into the road,

    The other car didn't see me, Mom,

    And hit me like a load.

    As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,

    I hear the policeman say,

    "The other guy is drunk," Mom,

    And now I'm the one who will pay.

    I'm lying here dying, Mom....

    I wish you'd get here soon.

    How could this happen to me, Mom?

    My life just burst like a balloon.

    There is blood all around me, Mom,

    And most of it is mine.

    I hear the medic say, Mom,

    I'll die in a short time.

    I just wanted to tell you, Mom,

    I swear I didn't drink.

    It was the others, Mom.

    The others didn't think.

    He was probably at the same party as I.

    The only difference is, he drank

    And I will die.

    Why do people drink, Mom?

    It can ruin your whole life.

    I'm feeling sharp pains now.

    Pains just like a knife.

    The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,

    And I don't think it's fair.

    I'm lying here dying

    And all he can do is stare.

    Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.

    Tell Daddy to be brave.

    And when I go to heaven, Mom,

    Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.

    Someone should have told him, Mom,

    Not to drink and drive.

    If only they had told him, Mom,

    I would still be alive.

    My breath is getting shorter, Mom.

    I'm becoming very scared.

    Please don't cry for me, Mom.

    When I needed you, you were always there.

    I have one last question, Mom.

    Before I say good bye.

    I didn't drink and drive,

    So why am I the one to die?

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