YOUR SEXUAL IDENTITY

According to studies, the first letter of your first name reveals your sexual identity ...


-A-
You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up front person. When it comes to sex, it's action that counts not obscure hints. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important to you. You find the chase and challenge of the "hunt" invigorating. You are passionate and sexual as well as being much more adventurous than you appear; however, you do not go around advertising these qualities. Your physical needs are your primary concern.




-B-
You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your expression of endearments and particularly when it comes to lovemaking. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite and abstain from sex if need be. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.




-C-
You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You must be able to talk to your sex partner before, during, and after. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sexual and sensual, needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to go for long periods without sexual activity. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.




-D-
Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full steam ahead in pursuit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly sexual, passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement, sometimes possessive and jealous. Sex to you is a pleasure to be enjoyed. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open.




-E-
Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion for a bedmate. You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important than the sexual act for you, but once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. When you don't have a good lover to fall asleep with, you will fall asleep with a good book. (Sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good look.)




-F-
You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal.. You are sensuous, sexual,and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are born romantic. Dramatic lve scenes are your favorite fantasy pastime. You can be a very generous lover.




-G-
You are crap in bed!
( Remember.... .I didn't write this!!!! LOLOL)




-H-
You seek a mate who can enhance your reputation and earning ability. You will be very generous to your lover once you have attained a commitment. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be frugal in your spending and dating habits and equally cautious in your sexual involvement. You are a sensual and patient lover.




-I-
You have a great need to be loved, appreciated. .. Even worshipped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of sexual expression.. You bore easily and thus require sexual adventure and change. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.




-J-
You are totally simply marvelous!




-K-
You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated.




-L-
You are very romantic, idealistic, and somehow you believe that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate or attracting people who have unusual troubles. You see yourself as your lover's savior. You are sincere, passionate, lustful, and dreamy. You can't help falling in love. You really enjoy stimulating yourself, though you are fairly new to it. You fantasize and get turned on by movies and magazines. You neither tell others of this secret life nor of your sexual fantasies.




-M-
You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of sexual energy is inexhaustible. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and also enjoy mothering your mate.




-N-
You need constant stimulation because you bore quickly. You can handle more than one relationship at a time with ease. You believe in total sexual freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of sexual energy is inexhaustible. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous, sexual, and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are your favorite fantasy pastime. You can be a very generous lover.




-O-
You are very interested in sexual activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your sexual energy into making money and/or seeking power. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate, sexual lover, requiring the same qualities from your mate. Sex is serious business; thus you demand intensity and diversity, and are willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.




-P-
You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of doing anything that might harm your image or reputation. Appearances count, therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy; A good fight stimulates those sex vibes. You are relatively free of sexual hang-ups. You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.




-Q-
You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you, sexually or otherwise. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people of other ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and lots of conversation to turn you on and keep you going.




-R-
You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is very important to you. You have to be proud of your partner. You are privately very sexy, but you do not brag, you are willing to serve as teacher. Sex is important; you can be a very demanding playmate.




-S-
You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along.




-T-
You are very sensitive, private, and sexually passive; you like a partner who takes the lead. Music, soft lights and romantic thoughts turn you on. You fantasize, but do not tend to fall in and out of love easily. When in love, you are romantic, idealistic, mushy, and extremely intense. You enjoy having your senses and your feelings stimulated, titillated, and teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, oftentimes all in your own head.




-U-
You are enthusiastic and idealistic when in love. When not in love, you are in love with love, always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as a challenge. You are a roamer and need adventure, excitement, and freedom. You deal in potential relationships. You enjoy giving gifts and enjoy seeing your mate looking good. Your sex drive is strong and you desire instant ratification. You are willing to put your partner's pleasures above your own.




-V-
You are individualistic, and you need freedom, space, and excitement. You wait until you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching him out. You feel a need to get into his head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. Often there is an age difference between you and your lover. You respond to danger, thrills, and suspense.




-W-
You are very proud, determined, and you refuse to take no for an answer when pursuing love. Your ego is at stake. You are romantic, idealistic, and often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner as he or she really is. You feel deeply and throw all of yourself into your relationships. Nothing is too good for your lover. You enjoy playing love games.




-X-
You need constant stimulation because you bore quickly. You can handle more than one relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your mind. You talk while you make love. You can have the greatest love affairs, all by yourself, in your own head.




-Y-
You are sexual, sensual, and very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will forgot the whole thing. You want to control your relationships, which doesn't always work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation, enjoy necking and spending hours just touching, feeling and exploring. However, if you can spend your time making money, you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You need to prove to yourself and your partner what a great lover you are. You want feedback on your performance. You are an pen, stimulating, romantic

DIFFERENT WAYS TO PROPOSE A GIRL

1. Walk up behind girl and point fingers shaped like gun into her back
“You’re under arrest!”
For what?
“For stealing my heart.”

2. Hi, my name is Chance, Do I have one?

3. are your legs tired?
girl: Why?
because you have been running through my mind all day!

4. “I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?”

5. Can you give me directions to your heart? I’ve seemed to have lost myself in your eyes

6. Take a look at the tag on the girls shirt, jacket, etc.
She would say,”What are doing”
resond,”Oh, just checking to see if you were made in Heaven.”

7. Pick up a flower and walk over to girl.
“I was just showing this flower how beautiful you are.”

8. Is it hot in here or is it just you?

9.Walk up to a guy and say: “Are you from Greece?”
“No” he answers.
“Oh, I thought all the gods were from Greece”

10. GEE I FEEL LIKE RICHARD GERE STANDING BESIDE YOU ……….. PRETTY WOMEN

11. I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.
Reply : I don't mind where you die.. as long as you do!

12. Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.
Reply : So, how many times did you fail kinder garten?

13. Are your legs tired? 'cause you been running through my mind ALL day long.
Reply : Yes, they are. I've been running away from you!

14. Are you lost? 'cause it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.
Reply : How many times have you been to heaven, anyway?

15. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?
Reply : Yeah.. why don't you walk by and just keep walking!

16. What's that in your eye? Oh...it's a sparkle.
Reply : What are you on? Crack or cocaine?

17. Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.
Reply : (too corny.. maybe a disgusted look would enough)

18. You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.
Reply : You can be sure of going to hell.. your stupidity will assure you of a place!

19. If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
Reply : So, that's your problem.. simple algebra!
Enjoy the day.....

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100 WAYS TO BE ANNOYING

1. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, andinsist to others that you "like it that way".
2. Drum on every available surface.
3. Remove every line of someone's .newsrc file except the entry foralt.sex.fetish.hamster.duct-tape.
4. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
5. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
6. Ask 800 operators for dates.
7. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire copy warningsand Simon Bates "Whenever you rent or buy a video..." bits
8. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
9. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
10. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Set alarms for random times.
13. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in publicconsisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
14. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
15. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
16. Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, withthe volume properly adjusted.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
20. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
21. Tape pieces of "The Grumbleweeds" over climactic parts ofrental movies.
22. Wear your trousers backwards.
23. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat theircomplementary mints by the cash register.
24. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
25. Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Mike Oldfield's"Tubular Bells one or two....or both".
26. Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-Cyrillic-landscapemode. (Please note: Dot Matrix printers only.)
27. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
28. only type in lowercase.
29. dont use any punctuation either
30. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute wholestreets.
31. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
32. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
33. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
34. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
35. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
36. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?""What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
37. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
38. Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
39. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
40. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
41. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
42. At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
43. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" untilphysically restrained.
44. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
45. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
46. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
47. Finish the 99 green bottles song.
48. Sing the "This is the song that never ends..." song.
49. Leave your indicator on for fifty miles.
50. Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
51. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of yourchin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
52. Drive fifty yards.
53. Name your dog "Dog".
54. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
55. Ask people what gender they are.
56. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
57. Lick the filling out of all the jammy Dodgers, and place the biscuit partsback in the tray.
58. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.
59. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a"good one".
60. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious thatyou don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
61. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touchwith a can of Glade Air Freshener.
62. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains.
63. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
64. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
65. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
66. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
67. Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of beingfirst in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
68. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see ifthey slow down.
69. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
70. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if peopleplay along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
71. Wear a LOT of cologne.
72. Ask to "interface" with someone.
73. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed isnecessary because of your "superior mental processing".
74. Sing along at the opera.
75. Mow your lawn with scissors.
76. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"
77. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".
78. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
79. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
80. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble theiranswers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychologicalprofiles".
81. Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn'tcricket." Hmmm Geoff Boycott?
82. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture".
83. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
84. Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
85. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producingawkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying moreany moment.
86. Never make eye contact.
87. Never break eye contact.
88. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over yourears.
89. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
90. Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
91. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in an annoying John Motson or Jimmy Hill voice.
92. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
93. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
94. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
95. Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.
96. Push the buttons at intersections that turn the lights red, but instead of walking across, point and laugh at the drivers that had to stop.
97. Mr. Nelson's personal favorite: Tell your band director you want to play drums.
98. Go into chat rooms and flood the screen.
99. when with your friends, turn the radio on the a station that you KNOW that they hate and make a great show of enjoying it.
100. Give dead flowers to everyone and claim that they were alive a minute ago.

GOOD TIPS FOR HEALTH AND LIFE...

Make a little loving gesture every day for one full year. Cuddle on the sofa and watch a movie. Take a bubble bath together. Walk on the beach in the moonlight. Put a note in a romance novel saying, "The story is great but our own love story is the best". Put a single red rose on the seat of your lover's car before they go to work. Send your lover a virtual postcard at least once a week. Get every book ever written by your loved one's favorite author. Get every movie starring your lovers favorite actor. Keep twenty pounds of your lovers favorite candy on hand. Take her to see the movie Titanic fifteen times. Make love to him/her every night until he/she asks you to stop. Give him/her twelve dozen roses on all their special days. Compose a list: "101 Reasons Why You're the Greatest" Write each reason on a separate square of paper. Wrap them in a fancy gift box. Sprinkle perfume on to light bulb. When light is turned on the scent of the perfume will fill the room. Relax with a glass of white wine. Listen to a romantic audio tape, fix a cup of hot flavored tea, and light two candles. Keep a journal of your romantic fantasies. Share it with your soul mate. Buy a bunch of fish at a pet store. It doesn't matter what kind. Leave it for your lover with a note saying " Out of all the fish in the sea, you are the one for me". Take a picture of yourself in the most sexy outfit possible. Hide in a secret spot in your house and leave him or her clues on how to get there. Watch the sparks fly! Put a blindfold on your lover and drive them to a place where you have a blanket, candles, strawberries, sparkling drinks, and a rose. Park the car and take off the blindfold while you read a poem you have written for them. While your lover is in the shower, or bath, put their bath towel in a hot dryer for a few minutes. Greet them when they get out of the shower with the toasty towel. Pull the bag out of your lovers breakfast cereal box and slit a small hole in it. Insert a love note. Tape up the bag and return it to the box. What a way to start the day! Write a list of 50 or more things you like or love about your sweetheart. Unplug the TV set. Put a note on the screen saying, "Turn Me on Instead". Play "hide-and-seek" in the rain. It's fun and VERY sensual! Build your lover a web page telling them why you love them so much. Mention special moments and add some images and cool links to topics that interest them. Surf the web with them one day and just "stumble upon it". Or have someone send them an anonymous email with the link inviting them to the page.

Fill bathtub with warm water sprinkled with rose petals. Fix a hot cup of Raspberry Chocolate, cuddle in a warm afghan and watch An Affair to Remember. Place a perfumed handkerchief in the dryer with your sheets before drying. Send your love a letter with confetti hearts inside of the letter so they pour out everywhere when your sweetheart opens it. Invite your sweetie to an intimate dinner at your place. Make a pizza and with the pepperoni you can write something sweet, like "you are the one for me". Surprise your lover with a kiss before they can finish a sentence. Write your own love poems then record them on a tape and give them to your sweetheart. Give your love an antique compass and say "You will never lose me". Your love will swear the needle always points to their heart! While your love takes a shower, write the words "I love you" in the condensation of the bathroom mirror. Leave a trail of "Hershey's chocolate kisses" from the front door to the bedroom, right up to the bed. On the bed leave a note that reads 'I kiss the ground you walk on.' Make sure you're not home when s/he gets in! Write a love note or poem on a piece of paper and then cut it up into puzzle-like pieces. Send one a day to your special someone. Play the game of monopoly with a few new rules. Change boardwalk into backrub, and Tennessee into take your shirt off. Every time you pass go, you get a kiss. etc. Look straight into the eyes of your love and PAY ATTENTION to what they tell you! Tell your mate something about you that no one else knows. Look into the eyes of your special someone often. "The eyes are the window to the soul". Weave love, sex, intimacy, passion and romance into the fabric of your daily lives. Carve "His" and "Hers" jack-o-lanterns at Halloween. Buy a set of matching silk pajamas, and take turns modeling them for each other. Go through revolving doors with your lover. Camp-out in a tent with your lover and picnic in a tree house Men: Talk more. Women: Touch more. Spend one solid hour exploring various kissing techniques. Turn your "bedroom" into a "boudoir". Use soft colors and fabrics, fresh cut flowers on your nightstand, mirrors everywhere, etc. Hang your lovers Favorite art on your walls.

PROBLEMS WITH GIRLS

The problems with GIRLS:

If u TREAT her nicely, she says u are IN LOVE with her;
If u Don't, she says u are PROUD.

If u DRESS Nicely, she says u are trying to LURE her;
If u Don't, she says u are from ………..

If u ARGUE with her, she says u are STUBBORN;
If u keep QUIET,! she says u have no BRAINS.

If u are SMARTER than her, she'll lose FACE;
If she's Smarter than u, she is GREAT.

If u don't Love her, she tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love her, she will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)

If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don't, she says that u don't TRUST her.

If u SCOLD her, u are like a CHACHA to her;
If she SCOLDS u, it is because she CARES for u.

If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If she BREAKS hers, she is FORCED to do so.

If u SMOKE, u are BAD BOY;
If she SMOKES, she is a GENTLELADY.

If u do WELL in your exams, she says it's LUCK;
If she does WELL, it's BRAINS.

If u HURT her, u are CRUEL;
If she HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!

& so hard to please!!!!!


Words to remember for a while-
Boys are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.
The girls don't want to reach for the good ones because they're afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground, that aren't as good, but easy.
So the apples at the top think that there is something wrong with them,
when in reality, they are amazing.
That is why we just have to be a little patient and the right girl, the one who takes a chance to find the good, right apple, will com e someday.

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