A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.
However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited:
'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and sold his sister's jewelery to buy a gun. I was appalled.
But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'....
Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:
'I'll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.'
Moral : Never,Ever, Never Be Late....
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
SOLVE THIS PUZZLE
See If You can Solve These Bashers*
*1) **Alex, Bret, Chris, Derek, Eddie, Fred, Greg, Harold, and John are nine students who live in a three storey building, with three rooms on each floor. A room in the West wing, one in the centre, and one in the East wing. If you look directly at the building, the left side is West and the right side is East. Each student is assigned exactly one room. Can you find where each of their rooms is: *
*1. **Harold does not live on the bottom floor.*
*2. **Fred lives directly above John and directly next to Bret (who lives in the West wing).*
*3. **Eddie lives in the East wing and one floor higher than Fred.*
*4. **Derek lives directly above Fred.*
*5. **Greg lives directly above Chris.*
*2) **What does this equation simplify to? *
(x - a) * (x - b) * (x - c) * ... * (x - z) =?
*3) **Starting in the bottom left corner and moving either up or right,
adding up the numbers along the way, what is the largest sum which can be made? *
*4) **How many squares, of any size, can you find on this chess board
which do not contain a Rook? *
*5) **What four digit number has digit 1 three less than digit 4 which is
one more than digit 2 which is twice digit 3 which is not a prime number and is one more than 1/3 of digit 4?*
*Here are the Solution’s…*
1. *Answer:*
*West*
*Centre*
*East*
*Harold*
*Derek*
*Eddie*
*Bret*
*Fred*
*Greg*
*Alex*
*John*
*Chris*
2. *Answer:** **“0” since one of the terms is (x - x).***
3. *Answer:* *3+2+5+9+6+1+ 7+4+1 = 38*
4. *Answer:** **There are 128 Squares without the Rook***
5. *Answer: **6849.*
*1) **Alex, Bret, Chris, Derek, Eddie, Fred, Greg, Harold, and John are nine students who live in a three storey building, with three rooms on each floor. A room in the West wing, one in the centre, and one in the East wing. If you look directly at the building, the left side is West and the right side is East. Each student is assigned exactly one room. Can you find where each of their rooms is: *
*1. **Harold does not live on the bottom floor.*
*2. **Fred lives directly above John and directly next to Bret (who lives in the West wing).*
*3. **Eddie lives in the East wing and one floor higher than Fred.*
*4. **Derek lives directly above Fred.*
*5. **Greg lives directly above Chris.*
*2) **What does this equation simplify to? *
(x - a) * (x - b) * (x - c) * ... * (x - z) =?
*3) **Starting in the bottom left corner and moving either up or right,
adding up the numbers along the way, what is the largest sum which can be made? *
*4) **How many squares, of any size, can you find on this chess board
which do not contain a Rook? *
*5) **What four digit number has digit 1 three less than digit 4 which is
one more than digit 2 which is twice digit 3 which is not a prime number and is one more than 1/3 of digit 4?*
*Here are the Solution’s…*
1. *Answer:*
*West*
*Centre*
*East*
*Harold*
*Derek*
*Eddie*
*Bret*
*Fred*
*Greg*
*Alex*
*John*
*Chris*
2. *Answer:** **“0” since one of the terms is (x - x).***
3. *Answer:* *3+2+5+9+6+1+ 7+4+1 = 38*
4. *Answer:** **There are 128 Squares without the Rook***
5. *Answer: **6849.*
I WANT TO BECOME PRIME MINISTER
I asked my friend's little daughter what she wanted to be when she grows up.
She said she wanted to be Prime Minister some day.
Both her parents, Labour supporters, were standing there, so I asked her,"If you were Prime Minister what would be the first thing you would do?"
She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all those poor people on benefits." Her parents beamed, and said, "Welcome to the Labour Party!"
"That's a worthy goal!" I told her, and continued, "But you don't have to wait until you're Prime Minister to do that. You can come over to my house,mow the lawn, pull weeds, sweep my drive and I'll pay you Rs. 25. Then I'll take you over to that homeless chap who hangs out in front of the store. You can give him the Rs. 25 to use toward food."
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless man come over and do the work himself and you can just pay him the Rs. 25?"
I smiled and said, "Welcome to the Conservative Party."
She said she wanted to be Prime Minister some day.
Both her parents, Labour supporters, were standing there, so I asked her,"If you were Prime Minister what would be the first thing you would do?"
She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all those poor people on benefits." Her parents beamed, and said, "Welcome to the Labour Party!"
"That's a worthy goal!" I told her, and continued, "But you don't have to wait until you're Prime Minister to do that. You can come over to my house,mow the lawn, pull weeds, sweep my drive and I'll pay you Rs. 25. Then I'll take you over to that homeless chap who hangs out in front of the store. You can give him the Rs. 25 to use toward food."
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless man come over and do the work himself and you can just pay him the Rs. 25?"
I smiled and said, "Welcome to the Conservative Party."
Sunday, April 4, 2010
A WOMEN REPLYING TO FLIRTS
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator. "
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you...to leave."
Man: "Hey Cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator. "
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you...to leave."
Man: "Hey Cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"
BEST PICK UP LINES FOR DATING
on seeing a beautiful Girl:::::
• Am I dead? Because this must be heaven!
• You have more curves than a race track.
• Do you know karate? Because your body’s really kickin’.
• I hope you know CPR because you take my breath away!
• Is your name Summer? Because you’re as hot as hell.
• If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
• You’re a 9.999. Well, you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
• Please help the homeless. Take me home with you.
• Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
• When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
• You know, the power company is looking for you because you're so electrifying.
• You know, I’m not this tall. I'm just sitting on my wallet.
• Of course, there's lots of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd love to catch.
• Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
• How was heaven when you left it?
• You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
• I think I can die happy now because I’ve just seen a piece of heaven.
• Am I dead? Because this must be heaven!
• You have more curves than a race track.
• Do you know karate? Because your body’s really kickin’.
• I hope you know CPR because you take my breath away!
• Is your name Summer? Because you’re as hot as hell.
• If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
• You’re a 9.999. Well, you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
• Please help the homeless. Take me home with you.
• Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
• When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
• You know, the power company is looking for you because you're so electrifying.
• You know, I’m not this tall. I'm just sitting on my wallet.
• Of course, there's lots of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd love to catch.
• Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
• How was heaven when you left it?
• You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
• I think I can die happy now because I’ve just seen a piece of heaven.
Friday, March 5, 2010
KARTHIK CALLING KARTHIK MOVIE REVIEW
Karthik Calling Karthik Movie Review
Directed
Vijay Lalwani
Produced By
Farhan Akhtar
Written
Vijay Lalwani
Star Cast
Farhan Akhtar - Karthik
Deepika Padukone - Shonali
Ram Kapoor - Mr. Kamath
Shefali Chhaya - Mrs. Kapadia
Vivan Bhatena
I think most of us have seen the movie and I would like to say that it is a very good movie.
Farhan Akhtar is a really good actor and so Deepika...
Please write your reviews.
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
Directed
Vijay Lalwani
Produced By
Farhan Akhtar
Written
Vijay Lalwani
Star Cast
Farhan Akhtar - Karthik
Deepika Padukone - Shonali
Ram Kapoor - Mr. Kamath
Shefali Chhaya - Mrs. Kapadia
Vivan Bhatena
I think most of us have seen the movie and I would like to say that it is a very good movie.
Farhan Akhtar is a really good actor and so Deepika...
Please write your reviews.
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
Monday, February 8, 2010
Let see if you have an IQ above 120?
A quick brain tickler…
Please look at the math below:
They say only people with an IQ with 120 and over are able to figure
this out.
If:
2 + 3 = 10
7 + 2 = 63
6 + 5 = 66
8 + 4 = 96
Then:
9 + 7 =????
The number you find out is the password to open the attachment. Open and
enter your name...Then, pass on.
Let see if you have an IQ above 120?
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
Sunday, February 7, 2010
BEST PART OF 3 IDIOTS
I have seen the movie 3 IDIOTS more than 6 times now and I can't resist to watch it again yet.
3 IDIOTS Movie Review:
I loved the movie completely and must say that our filmmakers should work on more scripts like this. We are living in a society which has many issues that are needed to be presented in a proper way.
BEST PART:
When Raju gets the job and Farhan's father allows him to be a wild life Photographer and they both give Salaam to Rancho/ Ranchoddas Chanchad/ Wangdu.
[What they did in Munna Bhai (both films) was amazing.
In first they emphasized on how we actually lag to treat very small and important aspects crucially in life. In second they presented beautifully how important principles we got from Gandhiji.]
These are my personal opinions and would like to know your take on this.
So, PLEASE WRITE YOUR REVIEW AND TELL US THE BEST PART OF 3 IDIOTS...
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